expectation..

tbh, aq mmg set expectation kat semua org. maybe sebab tu aq slalu frust bile that particular person xsampai expectation aq. expectation does kill me. like seriously. that's why aq stop expect pape dr sape2 pon. in my 20s, aq nak enjoy je hidup ni. YOLO kan? hewhew. expectation pon may lead to clingy sebab aq tlebeyh trust that person. tp da 20 ni xkan la nak clingy kat org lgy. so, kene la blaja get my own life gtuww..

cara xnak frust plg utama. hewhew

contoh expectation

expectation kat diri sdiri cukup lah. :P

we are che pon....

ni la geng aq kat umk. setaun stgh lg nk hadap dorg. geng mgumpat, geng back up n semua lah. even esaimen pon mostly buat skli. siap ade grup ws yg xtahan. nk kutuk ke ape semua dlm tu. huhu. :P 

tp aq la ahli yg pasif skli. tetibe join grup dorg pon sebab ira ==' 

....

geram laa.. da la tgh final. masalah tu dtg macam air. continous jek.. mne la x stress. slalu la time final jd cmni. mmg suke pon. mule2 mmg aq mls nak amek kisah. tp dah sampai xbtego, mane la aq x teraffected. mmg la aq xtlibat dlm hal dorg but it feels stuffy inside me. penat da jd org tgh yg tolong mediatekan masalah dorg. msg2 nak ikot kepale sdiri. haih. sorg tu sensitif tlebeyh. sorg lagi mulut ikot sedap je. mende kecik pon nak bmasam muke. xminat la kalau nak terase2 ni. tahu la tgh stress semuanye tp xkn la smpai nak libatkan org len. sabau je la.

mende boleh setel tak payahlah nak serabutkan org len. lagi satu, kalau tak suke someone tu tak payahlah nak buruk2 kan die. tak suke tu lantak la. belakang kemain ckp die tu mcm2. tp bile kat depan, lembut abes ckp ngn org yg diburukkan tu. i just can't stand this. aq, kalau aq xsuke, buat pape pon aq tak layan. i just can't even smile to those people i dislike. kalau semua bende nak komen benci, whining 24 hours, sape x geram? it's just depan kemain baik and belakang kemain mengutuk. and i am the only one who see this scary part of her.

aq tahu i shouldn't blame her sebab attitude die mmg cmtu. tp stuffy jugak lerr. she said she's independent tp realitinye she's not. the way she talks like die lah yg plg precious. everyone loves her. sometimes when she feels grumpy, mcm2 dikomennya. yeah! i know u're precious so act like one. penat la bile semua bende nak whining. to her bf maybe she sounds like manja, innocent whatsoever tp bile sesame pmpuan ni i see her as someone-yg-tlalu-bgantung kat org len. bile keje kite, kemain bsungguh dimintaknye. bile keje die, acuh tak acuh je. bile mnx, tgh buat la. ade sikit lg xsiap la. hhmmm... lagi satu, stail aq mmg aq jenis xstadi. but when i do, aq xlayan da fon, fb bagai.. i'll finish up dulu mendape aq nak stadi then i'll go on9 like crazy. i believe that different people has their own study style. mgkin die bleh stadi smbil msj pkwe, smbil on9. aq xkisah pon hal org but bile aq on9, she goes like "xstadi pon result hebat" while pegang her phone dgn tgok slide lecturer. aq xthu mane satu yg die tgh fokus.

it's not that i dislike her or benci ke ape. i know that people are not perfect. so does me. but please jgn whining sgt. bukan die sorg yg rase, everyone has to face it. xkan semua bende nak ikot kepale die je. tolerate, can't u? jgn nak dislike org tu, xnak tgok muke org ni, nak itu, nak ini... nak je aq ckp kalau nak mgadu ape, p mgadu kat bf sane. aq da xlarat nak dgr.

tp cmtu la. org darah A+ cm aq ni mmg jenis xsuke ckp dpn2. but i'll show with my gesture or facial expression. harapnye ckup2 la whining and komen sume bende xkene. i'm tired olledy +_+

that woman

A woman loves you.
The woman loves you wholeheartedly.
She follows you around like a shadow every day.
She smiles but is actually crying.

How much longer do I just have to look at you, alone.
This love that came like wind,
This love that is like a shit,
If I continue this, will you love me?

Just come a little nearer
just a little bit.
Please don’t step back
I, the one who loves you,
is still next to you.
That woman is crying.

That woman is very shy
So she learnt how to smile
Her heart is so full of tear,
She can't even share her story with
her best friend

That's why, that woman
loved you
Cause you were so like her
another fool.
yet another fool
Please give me a hug before you leave me

I want to be loved, dear.
That's all I wanted
She shouts, just in her heart
just in her heart.
No one can hear her
but that woman is still next you

Do you know that
I am that woman?

You don't do you?

Because you are just a fool.

how much
how much longer
Do I have to love you like this

This love that is like a fool
This love that is like a shit

would you love me?

That woman, who loves you
is still next you

and she is still crying.

.....

        penat la asyik kene salah faham ngn org ni. stress sgt rasenye. even if i stand still, tetap jugak ade salah faham tu. then what should i do?? kenape nk libatkan aq dalam hal dorg tu? aq xde kaitan. aq yg buruk rupe ni pon nak dijelesnye. ape kes?? kot ye pon, mende lepas kan. malas sgt rase aq nak fikir mende remeh cmni.

         ikotkan hati, nak sgt aq deactivatekn semua media sosial yg aq ade. tp it's not worth it kalau buat sebab dorg. banyak sgt mslh skrg ni. tipu lah kalau xdepress. tp bukan stail aq nak stori merate. bukan semua peduli pasal cite kite.

         skrg, biar je lah ape nak jd. ikot flow je. mls da nak fikir lebih2. da penat la. nak exam nye lg. even aq xserajin mane, gagahkan jela.