I

takde salah sape2. be happy. banyak mende lagi nak kene pikir.

tak dekan sem ni pon xpe. dua kali da kan. :)

me

just now my mum came and told me that she regretted her decision which was not allowing me to pursue my study in UIA 3 years ago. *sigh...

if i want to talk about regrets, there's so much thing that come across my mind. firstly, of course for rejecting UIA and matriculation. then, for not doing well in the interview for tesl in australia and i did not even do my appeal . third, for rejecting medicmesir placement in tanta university in medicine.

3 years ago, everything seems dark and i did not even have any motivation to study. i almost went to form 6 in sultan ismail college. however, i appealed for palam and fortunately i was accepted even though i am almost 1 month late than ordinary students. so i didn't have to go through orientation week. how lucky i am. huhu.. just imagine how i need to adapt with the surrounding and tbh i can't.
so, that's the first time i just let go everything and fully enjoyed my time. i didn't do my assignment, quizzes as well as midterm. i just lose my path.

just imagine, i got uia. my first choice which was foundation of allied science. sains kesihatan bsekutu. kalau lepas asasi, bleh smbg sme ade lam xray, mata or radiologi. aim aq haruslaa radiologi. tp nye sebab parent xbg. katenye jd cikgu duk umah, rilek. weekend cuti. so bile dpt palam. u know. repeating the same thing mcm spm and deeper. padahal lau asasi uia dgrnye aq da bleh lari dr math. lagipon dgn basic arab yg aq ade n sijil arab dr kuiz, aq takyah amek exam da kat uia and foundation aq just for 1 year. deep in my heart, mmg aq nak duk uia, belajar ilmu dunia wal akhirah. ceh. kalau dgn keadaan aq skg, boleh dikatekan agak sengal la. ye la. xmuslimah mne. tp dulu zmn skolah kan baik yg amat. g palam je. senget sket.

but fate didn't bring me there. first day i went to palam, i cried. bukan sebab homesick tp sebab i felt hopeless. sebabnye mmg aq nak sgt uia. setiap hari mcm xbmkne pape. just my body was there but my mind? blank. in short, boleh dikatekan tsasar jugak lah tp xde lah smpai tggal solat tu semua. just social life. xingt dunia bgaul, bjalan je keje. mmg xde niat nk blaja. teruk betul.

i still remember the nervousness that i felt when waiting for my foundation cgpa. mase tu myesal tayah cite la. but i promised myself to work harder during degree. luckily, dekat degree alhamdulillah antare yg tbaik lm kelas. glad to know that i got the highest pngs for the 4th sem. bayangkan dgn chinese n indian lam kelas. selalunye bdk cine tu yg fes. tp nseb bek kali ni. mnx2 momentum cmni kekal la.

kalau tanye ape yg motivate aq is kate2 cikgu nazri time kat shah dulu. aq ingt lagi die ajar sains time form 3. dulu lower form perform la jugak. nek upperform hancus. time f3 dulu, aq slalu dpt a subjek die. tp ade skali dpt b. 70 something cmtu. pastu die comfort aq ckp ' xpe la jatuh. tp sy tahu org mcm awk jatuh skali je. pastu, bleh bgun balik'. indeed, exam selepas tu, da xturun2 da.

stail aq, kalau aq nak, aq akan usaha abes boleh. tp kdg2 aq xusaha pon aq dpt. tu aq fikir just berkat n barakah or just nseb bek. kadang2 kite buat baik dgn org, kite xingt pon kite buat ape. tp org yg kite buat baik tu kdg2 doakan kite. tu yg jd berkat. same mcm kalau kite ade rezeki lebih, kongsi la dgn org lain. bsedekah xkn buat kite miskin. sebab tu, i can't cope with people yg kedekut. haha..

failure is key to success. dulu time dgr aq pikir boleh laa ckp cmtu sebab da bjaye. tp senanye, org yg bjaye ialah org yg bgun balik dr failure die tu. doakan yang baik2 untuk aku tau. kbai